Generation Clean

One summer day I was sitting on the back porch with my then toddler son. He was standing next to a large empty hammock and was pushing it back and forth. The momentum was increasing and I was worried that it would eventually come back too fast and knock him over. I said to him, “be careful sweetie.” He continued to push the hammock. I said to him again with more concern, “be careful!” He looked at me with a puzzled face and asked, “What is careful?” I realized that I had not made it clear what I really wanted. I had not talked to him about what was worrying me. My saying, “be careful” meant nothing to him. I think about this a lot when I find myself speaking in generalities and admonishing my kids to “be careful” online, or “be good.” Being specific is an essential part of teaching children how to analyze a situation and make a decision on what they should do about it. We need to teach them what it means to be careful, good, or bad.  The ultimate goal is to teach our c...

Beginning in 1848 when gold was first discovered in California, thousands moved west hoping to find chunks of precious gold metal in the hills and become wealthy.  I went on a field trip with my daughter’s school class to learn about the Gold Rush and was shown a big chunk of shiny gold rock called iron pyrite. We all were impressed by it, and were told how many gold miners came across these large golden chunks and thought that they had struck it rich. After they had gathered up all of this rock they could find, they tried to cash it in at the bank. They were told it was completely worthless. They had been fooled by its appearance. Iron pyrite does not contain the unique properties that give true gold its value. In fact it is not even a metal. It is made up of iron and sulfur. Hence the nick-name for it became “fool’s gold.”   All the time those prospectors had spent gathering this sparkling rock had been a completely wasted. They had nothing that they could tur...

They are a blessing and a curse. Screens everywhere: phones, tablets, games, televisions, and computers. Many things we find on them are good, clean, and fun. However, kids are able to find trouble or stumble across things that are not good for them too. As interactions with electronic devices increase, so does the risk of exposure to the trash that is floating around out there as well. There are numerous ways kids can see inappropriate things. Unfortunately, much of it is inappropriate for adults as well. It can seem so overwhelming- like there is no way to have control over what they find. Here are some ways that we deal with it in our family. We have only one computer in the house which is out in our main living area. We also only have one television in our house. I know, it’s shocking. It has always been very important to us that our kids be out where we can see them and not holed up in their rooms watching who-knows-what. But it’s getting harder to keep that up. ...

When I was a little girl I was uncomfortable with the word “woman.” I didn’t want to say it. I would substitute, “lady” or “girl” whenever I could. I felt the same way about the word “purse,” and tried to avoid that word as well. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to grow up. Maybe I wanted to be little and without the responsibilities that all women with purses have. I didn’t have an explanation. I just did not want to be called a woman or carry a purse.   I am over that feeling now. I am in the final year of my thirties and have a son that will be an adult in less than two years, so it’s time. However, when several months ago I started to feel a strong pull toward writing about womanhood, I felt an opposing pull telling me not to. Being the mother of a teenage girl and boy I find myself constantly running into issues related to this topic of womanhood. There has been a lot of discussion about modesty, controlling thoughts, body image, and feminism amo...

Whether you were standing at the proverbial water-cooler with your fellow employees, or at a park play-date watching kids run and scream on the play equipment, you've done it. You have told the story of something awful or terribly hard that happened to you and then sighed, with relief and a smile, when someone else understood how you felt. It's natural for us to want to commiserate about things that are tough. Maybe that is why mommy blogs, and Facebook, and Pinterest all suck us in. We want to have shared experiences. We share on all sorts of subjects. The one I want to address now is parenting . I have noticed an awful lot of articles with lists of things that stink about parenting (for some reason we all love lists). Most talk about the everyday things that are frustrating, and sometimes they throw in that little abstract statement, "...but it's all worth it" at the end. But they don't really convey why it's worth it . Everyone understands tha...

I was at a conference for women a few weeks ago, and a quote by Tolkien was mentioned. I loved it and jotted down in my notes, 'they may have clean earth to till. -Tolkien.' It struck me because it reminded me of this blog that I started years ago and have neglected for a long time. I came home and googled the quote. It was a little different than my notes, and after finding it, I had to read over it several times to feel like I fully understood it. “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.” ―  J.R.R. Tolkien ,   The Return of the King I have not read the book the quote comes from, so I do not know the context in which it was written, but this is how it translates for me: I don't have to do everything or know everything,...

“We have a  family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world .” --- Gordon B Hinckley My family meets for FHE every Monday night. We try not to get too elaborate or it feels overwhelming. Here is a quick outline of what we do. We rotate who does what each week: Opening Song. Someone picks a song and we sing it together. It's usually a children's song from church or a hymn. Opening Prayer. Someone says an opening prayer asking Heavenly Father to help us have a nice time and that we will feel His Spirit. Family Business. We talk about what is coming up this week so we all know what's going on and who needs to be where. Lesson. ...

This video is so powerful! Leave it to Elder Holland to say this right. He gets right to the heart of the reason I do this blog. It's the reason my kids are still begging for cell phones of their own, and I have not caved in. It's the reason I have passwords on the computers, Wii channels like Netflix, and my cell phone. It's the reason I worry over which friends my children choose. And it's the reason my husband and I do scripture study and still say individual prayers (yes, even with the 13 year old) with each of our kids at night: I don't want to see my children suffer because of bad choices. Some may see me as paranoid or strict. I know that children need to learn how to be independent and how to take the consequences of their actions. Believe me, there are still plenty of choices they are allowed to make, and still plenty of consequences when they make poor ones. What I want to do is be sure that everyone in the family feels that home is a safe place. I wa...

Image by Castronova Designs I watched Taylor Swift: Journey to Fearless with my daughters. It's a sort of documentary about Taylor's "Fearless" tour in 2010. It was great fun to see her personality and how she put the show together. She seems like a sweet girl who is still genuinely surprised by her success and enjoying sharing her songs and herself with the world. We really liked seeing how she treats her fans so well: walking through the arena and giving out hugs and bracelets, holding a tea (T) party after each show for some big fans they find in the audience... Stuff that's just fun and personal. As a mom I loved seeing the relationship "Mama Swift" (that's how she's known by all on the tour) has with her daughter. They seem to be happy spending time together and it's nice to see a daughter respect and love her mother so much. She even wrote her a beautiful song! (If you want to cry, or just feel warm and fuzzy watch  The Best Da...

This quote comes from an exceptional talk about envy by Jeffrey R Holland . He gave this in April 2012 General Conference. Another one of my favorite quotes from his talk is:  "Envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know. What a bright prospect that is! Downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment!" When you put it that way, it sounds so obviously ridiculous to be bitter for others successes. I think "pickle juice" is going to be our family's new catch phrase for identifying jealousy and envy.  Ok, and there's just one more that's really good too.  I wish I could put this one on a banner at the kids' middle school! "Coveting, pouting, or tearing others down does not elevate your standing. Nor does demeaning someon e else improve your self image."

I have a friend named Marilyn who is a professional story teller. I think that is just about the coolest job there is. She has such a talent. I believe it is a real blessing to be able to tell a story that is meaningful, interesting, imaginative, and teaches something. Entertainment is often noisy and visually over-stimulating, so it is a relief to quietly sit and listen to a story being told or read. And if there is beautiful artwork to go with it, that makes it even better!  Marilyn recommended that I look at  Barefoot Books , and I'm so glad she recommended it!   The next time I'm in Massachusetts I would love to go experience their studio with my kids. Their website is wonderful, and even offers podcasts featuring some of their stories, which are great for older children who are able to focus a little more and use their imaginations to create the pictures in their heads. For younger children, there are also some fun videos featuring book illustrations and so...

What is a Hero? A hero is a person of distinguished   courage   or   ability,   admired   for   his  brave   deeds   and  noble   qualities. A hero is a person   who   is   regarded   as   a model   or  ideal. A hero is someone who helps other people, or helps to make other people's lives better.   A hero is a person who tries to make the world a better place.   A hero is a person who does something that is more than what is expected. A hero is someone that doesn't do something for his or her own problems but for the benefit of others. A hero is a person that doesn't want to be a hero just to be famous.  sources:  dictionary.com  and  thinkquest.org "Hero In You" by KSM Here is a fun song to keep you heroes going: KSM - Hero In You Powered by  mp3skull.com Kids Are Heroes Kids are Heroes is an inspiration...

Zooey Deschanel Some songs I heard recently and have added to my Clean Music List : Oldies: Lets Twist Again  -Chubby Checker Higher and Higher  -Jackie Wilson The Way You Do the Things You Do  -The Temptations My Girl  -The Temptations This doesn't count as an Oldie, does it? Crazy Little Thing Called Love  -Queen A Newbie: So Long - Zooey Deschanel 3 free songs I downloaded from Amazon: Infomercial Ringtone Wild Bear (Yes or No Song) -Mister Doak The Bell Medley

-The best advice given from Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh.

Having summer fun is great! I love that there is time now for summer field trips and activities. But, I also want my kids to know that there are other aspects to this summer break thing. This is when we can get in some work time . Part of a parent's job is to train their children how to become independent and contribute to the family. This will be a great start. The first project we will take on this summer is having them organize their stuff . There's a really helpful article on Cozi with tips on how to teach organization to your kids. You can look that over for ideas too. This is how organizing usually goes at our house: Turn on some fun music to keep everyone moving and upbeat. Pull out everything in the closet, from under the bed, and from all of those other stashes of stuff. Put it all in a big pile . Then set out three boxes labeled: Keep , Trash , and Give Away . Let your child sort through their things and decide where they belong . If they choose to keep it, the...

Phineas and Ferb Online Safety Video This is a nice short video that reminds kids of the online "Rules of the Road." There's also a parents section on this page that lists rules and gives tips on why they are important. Phineas and Ferb is a Disney channel show where two brothers entertain themselves throughout the summer by coming up with a new outrageous invention or project each day. The boys have an older sister who is always trying to "bust" her brothers for their crazy schemes, but her Mom never sees any of what they do. There is also a mild evil villain called Dr. Dufenshmirtz who is trying to take over the tri-state area with a variety of machines he has created. Phineas and Ferb's pet platypus is an undercover agent assigned to Dufenshmirtz and stopping his evil schemes. This is a really funny show. My favorite part of this show is the clever songs that are part of each episode. There are a number that we sing around the house because they're s...

Let's face it. Nobody really looks forward to "the talk" with their children. It can be uncomfortable for both of you, and we worry that what we say will be positive and informative, without adding more ideas and questions to our young child's head. Along with the growing up information, and a discussion of appropriate intimacy, we should also talk about the importance of modesty in dress and speech and about morality. I have always thought that these topics covered just about everything, but there is another issue that we should discuss. President Thomas S. Monson said this in 2002: "When I consider the demons who are twins - even immodesty and immorality - I should make them triplets and include pornography . They all three go together." Pornography is sneaky. It's not as obvious as immodesty and immorality. It can be hidden for a longer period of time. Many people don't see the harm in it saying it's just pictures and it doesn't hurt any...

Here's a great story from KPBS about a Denny's store manager in Del Mar California that set up an autism friendly section in his restaurant. I've been able to spend time with several autistic preschoolers and they are wonderful, although they can be a handful. I was so happy to see this option offered for families who often don't get much time out with their sometimes disruptive children. Manager, Robert Stange explains his motivation: “I had seen a news segment about a restaurant in New York that had a night set aside for children with autism and their families, and I just thought that was a really great idea” explained Stange. On January 23, 2011, Denny’s in Del Mar became the first and so far only restaurant in the county to designate a part of their restaurant to autism-friendly dining. “I’m really into social responsibility and giving back. I think everybody should try and do a little more to help each other out. This is one way that our place is trying to do more...

I'm Gonna Like Me: Letting Off A Little Self-Esteem by Jamie Lee Curtis I love this upbeat picture book! It's a great one to read with little ones, and even the big ones like it. There are lively illustrations, and it shows kids that it's ok to like themselves even when they make mistakes or don't quite fit in. There's also a helpful PDF for teachers that parents can use to reinforce the message of the book. And here's a mini printable version you can have them fill out about themselves. Have fun! Rating: Squeaky