Conversation Starters: The Other Talk

Let's face it. Nobody really looks forward to "the talk" with their children. It can be uncomfortable for both of you, and we worry that what we say will be positive and informative, without adding more ideas and questions to our young child's head. Along with the growing up information, and a discussion of appropriate intimacy, we should also talk about the importance of modesty in dress and speech and about morality. I have always thought that these topics covered just about everything, but there is another issue that we should discuss. President Thomas S. Monson said this in 2002: "When I consider the demons who are twins - even immodesty and immorality - I should make them triplets and include pornography. They all three go together."

Pornography is sneaky. It's not as obvious as immodesty and immorality. It can be hidden for a longer period of time. Many people don't see the harm in it saying it's just pictures and it doesn't hurt anyone else. However, it is "a destructive poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your [current or] future spouse (For the Strength of Youth)."

Of course it is up to you to decide when and how to have this discussion with your child, but there are some helpful conversation starters on ThePornTalk.com that offer ideas on how to make the conversation two sided instead of a speech to be endured (by you and your child).

We have read the book, The Trap by Karmel H. Newell with our children and it offers a thoughtful metaphor observing wasps getting themselves caught in a trap and how that relates to what pornography does to us. It is written by members of the LDS church and includes references from scripture and suggestions for parents at the end. It is a great conversation starter too, because after reading it, you naturally want to discuss it.

Comments

How To Have A Ward Missionary Fireside

I am a missionary in my church ward (congregation). There are several members in every ward who work with the official tag-wearing missionaries you usually think of as they teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We also encourage all members to share the gospel by inviting their friends to activities, and into their homes to learn about our church. We recently put on a fireside (a meeting to share inspirational messages) to remind the members how they can share the gospel through everyday interaction and conversation. Below is the "transcript" we used to outline the meeting. It does not have every word written out, but gives a general idea of what was said. If you use this for your ward, feel free to expand on the ideas in your own words. The first skit is meant to be funny because the member is not sincere when speaking of the church. The other skits show a member sharing what they believe in a friendly and open way . The comments in italics are meant to help with the di

The Personification of Beauty

When I was a little girl I was uncomfortable with the word “woman.” I didn’t want to say it. I would substitute, “lady” or “girl” whenever I could. I felt the same way about the word “purse,” and tried to avoid that word as well. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to grow up. Maybe I wanted to be little and without the responsibilities that all women with purses have. I didn’t have an explanation. I just did not want to be called a woman or carry a purse. I am over that feeling now. I am in the final year of my thirties and have a son that will be an adult in less than two years, so it’s time. However, when several months ago I started to feel a strong pull toward writing about womanhood, I felt an opposing pull telling me not to. Being the mother of a teenage girl and boy I find myself constantly running into issues related to this topic of womanhood. There has been a lot of discussion about modesty, controlling thoughts, body image, and feminism among k

Use External Filters And Teach Internal Filters

One summer day I was sitting on the back porch with my then toddler son. He was standing next to a large empty hammock and was pushing it back and forth. The momentum was increasing and I was worried that it would eventually come back too fast and knock him over. I said to him, “be careful sweetie.” He continued to push the hammock. I said to him again with more concern, “be careful!” He looked at me with a puzzled face and asked, “What is careful?” I realized that I had not made it clear what I really wanted. I had not talked to him about what was worrying me. My saying, “be careful” meant nothing to him. I think about this a lot when I find myself speaking in generalities and admonishing my kids to “be careful” online, or “be good.” Being specific is an essential part of teaching children how to analyze a situation and make a decision on what they should do about it. We need to teach them what it means to be careful, good, or bad. The ultimate goal is to teach our child

Generation Clean

Search This Blog